Cacti

So, as I've said before my sister is weird. Weird doesn't even begin to cover it, but until the English language gets a word for "absolutely bat shit insane to the extent I'm scared to be within 50km of her, she scares me. I know she's vegetarian but I'm worried she might eat me" we'll go for weird.

She used to have loads of cacti when she was living with us, she used to choose them making sure they were the ones with the biggest, hardest spikes. I'm not even joking, we went to Homebase to get some paint, she stops at the flower section, finds a nice little orchid and says "that's nice, but it needs more SHARP!" she then went and had a proper look and (to my absolute horror) found a small section of neglected cacti. "Oh, the poor babies, they're almost drowned!" was what she said. In the end she picked out a massive one with spikes that made little stars and affectionately named it Miguel. All of them have names, all of them sound Spanish or Mexican. Anyway, while she was choosing Miguel she passed over several other cacti, including a cute little one that had soft spikes, they kind of armour plated it, I said "Get this one, it couldn't hurt anyone." I begged, I pleaded, she said no.

There was Juan too. This one was the first, it was named on the joke of "How many cacti does Andi have? Juan. Heh... ha." The spikes on the top stick straight up and they're about 5cm long.

The thing is, since Andi has been banished to France (I feel sorry for the poor French people but at least she seems to keep the Germans away) the cacti have become much less dangerous. When she was still here they used to appear, in biscuit tins, on chairs, places where I'd get pricked, now? Well, they stay put, and I'm actually starting to appreciate them since they've stopped hurting me.

I don't think I'll ever love them.. All I'm saying is they're pretty, ish, dangerous mind.